establishing my steps.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” – Proverbs 16:9

Throughout my relationship with my husband, Justin, I’ve always been asked how we met. Our story isn’t a crazy or super cool one, but I love our story. I love our story because when I tell it I can see how God was at work and in complete control even though we didn’t realize it then.

Justin and I were both in completely different places in our lives and broken in different ways. For me, it was my relationship history and college struggles. For him, it was bad choices and harsh consequences. But, we were the same in the way we, both believers of Christ, had turned from our faith and lived for ourselves. So, even though our external situations were different, our internal struggles were the same. We were both lost sinners in need of our Savior and the faith we both knew.

{ January 2014 }   I was four months from moving away for grad school and had pretty much sworn off the thought of a relationship since I would be leaving, and was tired of empty relationships. I was ready to begin a new chapter in my life. I decided I wanted to actually start trusting God’s plan, whatever that may be, instead of thinking I could do it on my own. Here I was, an almost 22-year-old college grad working my part-time job I had in college just waiting to leave.

Something I’ve always kind of believed is that God sometimes uses a sense of humor to show His sovereignty. And, he was real funny this time.

One afternoon, I arrived at work and saw two new guys talking to the manager before starting their first day. Well, I happened to briefly meet eyes with one of them and let me tell you, I’d never felt a harder heart nudge than in that moment. Instead of butterflies in my stomach I had a bounce house. Justin said that when he first saw me he had a feeling he couldn’t describe. When we officially met and shook hands, I’m pretty sure I started sweating. Over the next few days I noticed I was excited to see him at work (Justin said he used to watch for me when he knew my shift was about to start), but at the same time I was reprimanding my feelings because I knew I was leaving soon and didn’t need this.

During the course of the next few weeks I learned more about this guy. The more I learned, the more I now see how God was working. Let me paint this picture for you: I was 22 and going to grad school, done with immature and ungodly relationships. He was a 19-year-old college dropout who had been recently arrested for a DUI and lost everything (car, place to live, friends). The crazy part? When I found all of this out, I wasn’t put off by any of it and still couldn’t shake my feelings for this guy. I even made the first move to start hanging out. I mean seriously, that was all a God thing. I had decided that I was going to wait until I met a Godly man who was serious and had his life together, and God was like, “Ha, just kidding. Here’s this guy, you need him, trust me.” Cool thing about God is He’s always right.

So, we started talking more. One night during a conversation he asked me what I thought a relationship needed to work. Most people would normally say trust, communication, love, the usual things. But, I felt compelled to speak on my faith. I replied with something along the lines of “Jesus in the center of the relationship”. Justin tells me that was the moment he knew I was the one. When he replied with reassurance and agreement, I knew there was something different this time.

I told Justin I was moving in a few months, but he told me refused to stop pursuing me. We’d only been hanging out for about a month, but my feelings were stronger than I’d ever felt. We had been sitting and talking one night at the end of that first month of hanging out and all of a sudden he said, “You’re gonna make me say it.” At first, I was confused. He looked at me for a few seconds, then he told me he loved me.

Here was this broken (much like me) and technically still teenage guy that I’d known for two months and hung out with for a month sitting in front of me telling me he was in love with me. Before this, I probably would have laughed and thought the guy was clingy and crazy, but God did something to my heart. So, I looked at Justin, told him I loved him too, and truly knew it. We officially began dating the next day.

Looking back on that time shows me what God was doing and how He was preparing us to not only become husband and wife, but more importantly to help one another live out our faith in a relationship and each day. God knew exactly what both of us needed. When I first met Justin, I had no idea that at the most unexpected time in the most unexpected way God was providing a man who would become a Godly leader and passionate about Jesus, as well as my husband.

As I write this, a certain hymn based off a verse in Ecclesiastes comes to mind. This hymn says:

In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful
in His time

Lord please show me every day
as You’re teaching me Your way
that you do just what You say
in Your time

I now see that God was turning two broken people into something beautiful. I thought I had made my plan about future relationships, but God provided something I didn’t think I wanted at a time that He had planned perfectly. This story of how Justin and I became “us” isn’t super interesting. But, I do believe that it shows God’s timing, control, sovereignty, grace, and faithfulness (maybe even a little humor, too). He tells us multiple times in His Word that He has a plan for each of us.

When will we realize that this is true? When will we start living like we trust God’s plan and timing for our lives? Think about situations in your life. In how many of those situations did you not get what you thought you wanted, but now you see you got what you actually needed? God is faithful and He will always provide what we need at the perfect time in HIS plan.

Your sister in Christ – kayley jean, a wife redeemed