Psalm 45:1

Psalm 45:1 – “My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king: my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.”

I know what you’re thinking: You’re starting a blog? In 2017? How original of you. Yes, I realize blogging is totally a “thing” now. I realize some people have made a successful career out of blogging (props to them, I’m impressed), and total disclaimer here: I have no idea what I’m doing.

This blogging idea first popped into my constantly running female mind (ladies, you get it) three years ago when I was about to embark on my journey in graduate school (don’t worry, we’ll get to all my schooling years later). Feeling super excited and motivated, I created an account and came up with a concept for the blog. Much like this one, I wanted it to be a Christian blog for women. But, as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and my blog was still an empty site, I realized I had no idea what to actually write.

First, I believed this block in my mind was simply because I hadn’t actually sat down and written any ideas or even thought about a post. I tried to convince myself that this was the issue. Now, I truly see why I couldn’t write.

My heart was not right with Jesus.

My heart was nowhere close to being prepared to write about Jesus, let alone walk with him daily. How could I write about something I was struggling to do myself? I’m in no way saying I don’t still struggle, I know how much I need His unrelenting Grace each day, but I’ve learned so much more about Jesus and I’ve grown more spiritually in the last year than I have my entire life. Jesus rocks, guys.

Okay, back to starting this blog. I was sitting on our couch and snuggling up to begin reading my newest book purchase a few days ago. This book is called Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen (ladies, if you haven’t read or listened to or studied anything by Jennie Allen, DO IT). A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to gather with almost 400 other Christian women to worship and learn with Jennie. The whole day was about finding and living in the freedom that we have with Christ. Pretty amazing stuff.

Jennie’s book is about the realization that we have nothing to prove to others, and that we have to stop burying ourselves deeper and deeper in what we think others are thinking of us. We already have the love of God, and a Savior who loved us so much that he sacrificed his life for ours.

While reading in the corner of our comfy couch, I felt a tug. Not a physical tug, a spiritual tug. In the first chapter of the book, Jennie mentions a blog post that changed her life. As soon as I read that line, I felt God tugging on my heart and saying, “Hey, remember that non-existent blog you thought you could write on your own? It’s time, write it – with me.” I know, I know. How cliché of me to think that, right? I thought so, too.

Then, that night, I mentioned the idea to my husband. He got super excited and supportive and started throwing out compliments about how he thinks I’m good with words (brownie points for hubby), and through my prayer I knew God put it on my heart to do this in His Name. And what a wonderful Name it is.

Over the course of the next day and night I had idea after idea and word after word start flowing in my head. I had to stop and write them down no matter what I was doing. Funny how the God of the universe doesn’t give us the things we want when we want them because He knows when we actually NEED them, or if we need them at all – just another testament to how much He loves us and how little we tend to actually trust Him.

So, hi, here I am. I am a broken sinner saved by the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ and a daughter of the King.

I’m not starting this blog with the intention of growing followers or for personal gain. Honestly, I’d be thrilled to have just one woman read anything I post and see Jesus in my words (and let’s be real for a second, the one woman reading these posts will 100% of the time be my amazing mother…no shame). Like I said, this is not for my personal gain. My purpose in this pursuit is to share my stories, my faults, my brokenness, and my steps into redemption in my Savior so that God can be glorified through me. I want nothing more than for you to read my words and feel like you see Jesus and understand who he is just a little bit more.

Again, let me say that I’m not expecting a bunch of people to read this (hi, mom). But, I pray that if you do read what I write in the near future that you see how much Jesus loves you. My prayer for myself as I write is that God places words on my heart that someone may need to hear. My prayer for you as you read is that God speaks to you and you see how much you are loved so deeply and passionately by our Creator no matter what you’ve done or where you are.

Psalm 45:1 – “My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king: my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.”

May God (the skillful writer) be glorified and worshipped through this blog (my heart and tongue) and in our lives as He so greatly deserves.

Your sister in Christ — kayley jean, a wife redeemed